Running (1st Feb): So the training schedule carries me along and before I know it, I'm running 7 miles for the first time. Felt ok too! My legs didn't even ache afterwards...infact my ache more now after one 30 minute interval run! Makes you think that even a short run can have an effect on you, hopefully a positive one. In other news, I've gotten myself some more new gear courtesy of my Nanny's christmas cheque. Brand new waterproof jacket! Again with the “new gear new motivation” saying ^_^
(6th Feb): Did my first 9 mile training run today! Achieved something I've always wanted to, ran to the seafront (Hoe...for the locals) and back. Unfortunately it was blowing a gale on the promenade between the war monuments along with the fine sea drizzle (love Plymouth weather). Saw a few people walking their dogs looking at me like I was mad! However, there was another runner there so I didn't feel like I was too crazy!
Dementia: Ok so I need to be clear here. I've been building up for this post for awhile. Hence the different dates for the running part but this bit is just gonna be lumped together! Like a good stew...all in the pot and left to cook for a long time ^_^
It's been...abit difficult recently. Not that all the times I've written before have been a walk in the park but Mums moods have been more extreme recently. A couple of days ago she just cried all day. That is not an over-exaggeration! It was hard for me because before when she's cried I've actually been upset by it and tried to help her. In this case though there was absolutely nothing I or my Dad could do...nothing...everything we tried just fell flat. At that moment we realised that we just had to ignore her and get on with our day. She kept saying that she didn't understand what WE were doing. It's always abit weird trying to explain ordinary stuff to her because when you start you can see in her eyes that nothing is going in. By ordinary stuff I mean like emptying the bin or starting to make dinner! Obviously that day nothing was making sense to her anymore. It hasn't been that bad since but we still get glimpses of it. For example, she stormed in on me cleaning up the kitchen and said none of us was making sense, but in the next ten minutes she said she was just being stupid. This leads me to another point. If you can't take randomness, leave the building now! I've kinda gotten used to finding things in strange places! Infact it keeps things exciting on one level but when she's just saying completely random things and getting upset when you don't understand her...that's when it sucks.
The thought occurs that those bad days will happen more and more often until we just can't cope with it. The possibility of having a nurse come care for Mum while Dads at work was raised at Mum's last doctors appointment. This will probably happen once I've moved on. A part of me is afraid for the future in this regard. I get concerned for my Dad who is older than my mum and isn't in perfect physical health. I get concerned that his manliness and reluctance will get in the way of asking for the help he will definitely need in the future. The prospect of full time care gets raised sometimes at those darkest of times...but Dad is reluctant to think about it too much. He would miss her. I think I sometimes forget that it isn't just about me and my siblings losing one of our parents...it's about our Dad losing the one he loves and his companion of many years...
Plymouth 10k
Me after running 10k (6.2 miles)
Sunday, 6 February 2011
Sunday, 2 January 2011
Snowgeddon and other news!
Running: Twas the season of major setbacks. First I was ill...then snow...then ill again! Great way to start my proper training schedule. Luckily my sister was here to kick my butt into action. First day we could get out after the snow/ice melted we did. I've started as I mean to continue by sticking to the exact schedule so far!! I know it won't stay like that :P but I've just done 4 miles for the first time since snowgeddon and I feel good. (Probably won't stay like that either...)
Dementia: Theme for this post: Listening. This might sound abit harsh but in the busy activity of setting the house up for Christmas visitation by certain close relatives, we sometime ignore my mum's random mutterings. It's difficult to hear everything she says especially when there's the Christmas dinner to be preparing but it's sometimes worth listening. You could catch a glimpse of something important. You can get too absorbed into how inconvenient dementia is....how annoying it is...etc etc that you forget that your mother is in there somewhere, trying to communicate! Sometimes she's making a good point. Like “Why are you doing it that way...try this.” or “You'll be needing this piece of equipment for doing that.” (said in a more, roundabout way of course!) Most of the time she's not...but I try to focus on the times she's actually right and I'm being stupid! That's more common than I'd like to admit...me being stupid :P
Just before my 4 mile run (spoken of earlier), I had decided to try out my Alzheimer's Research Trust shirt to see how it felt on during the run. I showed my mum thinking she'd like the purple colour. She looked at it smiling while I twirled. Then said “We should do something about that...yes, because that's what we do...”. I looked at her quizzically and she clarified herself “because I have a problem.” and as my eyes widened in shock she started crying while still smiling at me. Many are the times I have to comfort her because she keeps saying she's useless and in the way or she's afraid we will abandon her. Sometimes I think she's just being abit silly...but that day, I shut my mouth and just held her close to me.
Dementia: Theme for this post: Listening. This might sound abit harsh but in the busy activity of setting the house up for Christmas visitation by certain close relatives, we sometime ignore my mum's random mutterings. It's difficult to hear everything she says especially when there's the Christmas dinner to be preparing but it's sometimes worth listening. You could catch a glimpse of something important. You can get too absorbed into how inconvenient dementia is....how annoying it is...etc etc that you forget that your mother is in there somewhere, trying to communicate! Sometimes she's making a good point. Like “Why are you doing it that way...try this.” or “You'll be needing this piece of equipment for doing that.” (said in a more, roundabout way of course!) Most of the time she's not...but I try to focus on the times she's actually right and I'm being stupid! That's more common than I'd like to admit...me being stupid :P
Just before my 4 mile run (spoken of earlier), I had decided to try out my Alzheimer's Research Trust shirt to see how it felt on during the run. I showed my mum thinking she'd like the purple colour. She looked at it smiling while I twirled. Then said “We should do something about that...yes, because that's what we do...”. I looked at her quizzically and she clarified herself “because I have a problem.” and as my eyes widened in shock she started crying while still smiling at me. Many are the times I have to comfort her because she keeps saying she's useless and in the way or she's afraid we will abandon her. Sometimes I think she's just being abit silly...but that day, I shut my mouth and just held her close to me.
Wednesday, 8 December 2010
A couple of days in the life of me!
Sorry it's been awhile since I posted. I hope you appreciate the irony that I haven't had time to write a blog about caring for my mum....because I've been busy caring for my mum!! Running has also taken a back seat mainly because of the bloody ice/snow! So here are some diaries I wrote on the days indicated:
Running: (25th Nov) I don't know...this running business is difficult to get a handle on sometimes! After doing two 10ks in two weeks I took a longish break from running just in order to recover really. I feel it's easy to get bored if you only do one form of exercise. I also bought some new gear (a long sleeve top and running tights), retail therapy always re-motivates :) So once I got to running again I had difficulties running for long periods. Sprinting was fine but it's really not the point when it comes to marathon running... >_>
After chatting with running buddies I've reasoned I need to slow back down and return to pre-10k pace then build up from there. I am hoping to finish the half-marathon at around 2 – 2.5 hours mark. It's early days yet mind you!
Dementia: (25th Nov) Meanwhile, caring for mum has been...trying at times this week. It seems that we've learnt the signs of a downward turn in her mood although nipping the bad mood in the bud seems to be pot luck! I usually try music and jolly dancing! We've been listening to Absolute80s on digital radio a lot lately...and dancing around the kitchen! :D The main issues that cause her to spiral down seem to be (in my opinion anyway) a) basic things like hunger...or tiredness b) missing Dad. Dealing with problem a) is reasonably easy and just requires you to go down a list you have in your head. My dad reliably tells me it's like looking after a baby and what you do when it's just crying. I get that reference...mainly because mum does cry a lot and can't communicate herself fully anymore. Problem b) is more tricky. Especially when dad works and therefore isn't in the house! It's usually the sign of a bad day to come when I can't snap her out of it. Thats when it's hardest...when you know you can't do anything to make her happy and you've tried distracting her with her hobbies or dancing to 80s music and nothing works. That's the worst...
Running: (28th Nov) New gear arrived yesterday! I never thought I say this but...I own short shorts! They rule but I never never wear them without my running tights. First of all, my tights keep everything in especially thigh wobble. Secondly, I'd be too cold! I don't know how other ladies do it. I also got a glove&hat set with the added uber extra of a fluorescent snap band. I think they came out while I was still at school, early to mid 90s or so. Me and my brother were playing with it for a good hour, snapping it over each others arms....entertaining mum with it etc etc. Simple minds blah blah blah... :P On a more serious note, I'm going to try my new gear out on a 10k run this afternoon. I'll let you know how that goes. I've been doing short runs recently so I need a longer one this week to get back into the feel of it. Should be good!
UPDATE: 10k run ruled...1hr 5mins :)
Dementia: (28th Nov) Conclusion for today? Sometimes you have to laugh...or you might go insane! Living with dementia means you experience some really random behaviours. Things you just don't expect and make you laugh. Mum tends to do things in a different order to the most efficient thus making it more difficult for herself! Like putting a box full of cushions right in the doorway you have to go through and making yourself have to climb over them in a very undignified fashion! Very funny watch her trying to do that in a skirt! At least she was laughing along with me and dad! That's always good.
This is probably how my posts will go from now on. I'll write you guys diaries and post them when I have the time. I also have a couple of guest writers lined up as a special treat so keep reading!
Love to you all :)
Running: (25th Nov) I don't know...this running business is difficult to get a handle on sometimes! After doing two 10ks in two weeks I took a longish break from running just in order to recover really. I feel it's easy to get bored if you only do one form of exercise. I also bought some new gear (a long sleeve top and running tights), retail therapy always re-motivates :) So once I got to running again I had difficulties running for long periods. Sprinting was fine but it's really not the point when it comes to marathon running... >_>
After chatting with running buddies I've reasoned I need to slow back down and return to pre-10k pace then build up from there. I am hoping to finish the half-marathon at around 2 – 2.5 hours mark. It's early days yet mind you!
Dementia: (25th Nov) Meanwhile, caring for mum has been...trying at times this week. It seems that we've learnt the signs of a downward turn in her mood although nipping the bad mood in the bud seems to be pot luck! I usually try music and jolly dancing! We've been listening to Absolute80s on digital radio a lot lately...and dancing around the kitchen! :D The main issues that cause her to spiral down seem to be (in my opinion anyway) a) basic things like hunger...or tiredness b) missing Dad. Dealing with problem a) is reasonably easy and just requires you to go down a list you have in your head. My dad reliably tells me it's like looking after a baby and what you do when it's just crying. I get that reference...mainly because mum does cry a lot and can't communicate herself fully anymore. Problem b) is more tricky. Especially when dad works and therefore isn't in the house! It's usually the sign of a bad day to come when I can't snap her out of it. Thats when it's hardest...when you know you can't do anything to make her happy and you've tried distracting her with her hobbies or dancing to 80s music and nothing works. That's the worst...
Running: (28th Nov) New gear arrived yesterday! I never thought I say this but...I own short shorts! They rule but I never never wear them without my running tights. First of all, my tights keep everything in especially thigh wobble. Secondly, I'd be too cold! I don't know how other ladies do it. I also got a glove&hat set with the added uber extra of a fluorescent snap band. I think they came out while I was still at school, early to mid 90s or so. Me and my brother were playing with it for a good hour, snapping it over each others arms....entertaining mum with it etc etc. Simple minds blah blah blah... :P On a more serious note, I'm going to try my new gear out on a 10k run this afternoon. I'll let you know how that goes. I've been doing short runs recently so I need a longer one this week to get back into the feel of it. Should be good!
UPDATE: 10k run ruled...1hr 5mins :)
Dementia: (28th Nov) Conclusion for today? Sometimes you have to laugh...or you might go insane! Living with dementia means you experience some really random behaviours. Things you just don't expect and make you laugh. Mum tends to do things in a different order to the most efficient thus making it more difficult for herself! Like putting a box full of cushions right in the doorway you have to go through and making yourself have to climb over them in a very undignified fashion! Very funny watch her trying to do that in a skirt! At least she was laughing along with me and dad! That's always good.
This is probably how my posts will go from now on. I'll write you guys diaries and post them when I have the time. I also have a couple of guest writers lined up as a special treat so keep reading!
Love to you all :)
Wednesday, 24 November 2010
Welcome!
EVENT: Reading half marathon 2011 – Alzheimer's Research Trust
http://www.justgiving.com/runningwithitdemenia
Ok so I've decided to run a half-marathon. It was a big step to decide to put myself through it but it wasn't a difficult decision to choose who to run for. A certain illness has affected me more than anything recently...it's made me think about what is really important in my life, made me grow up and made me appreciate the things some can take for granted. My mum was diagnosed with dementia. It explained a lot. Things we'd noticed as a family. Breaks my heart when I think about it but now it's all about coping with it. Hence the name of my blog/facebook group. When you live with someone with dementia you can't force them to live in your world anymore. It doesn't work. You'll just end up upsetting both them and yourself. You just have to surrender to their world but when you do you can sometimes find it's a colourful random place. Hell this carer job just has it's perks when I can jump into colourful entertainer mode in public and make my mum smile again while everyone looks at me like I'm a freak. That's what you have to do...run with it...no matter what and that's what I'm going to do.
What I'm hoping to do in this blog is keep you all informed about my training for the half-marathon, give you an insight into what is it like caring for someone with dementia and hopefully encourage you to give generously to the Alzheimer's Research Trust:
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)